A Poem

Silent eyes watch a world
Understanding she does not belong
Others feel they have some worth
But she feels she has none
Self-abuse takes many forms
Denial, punches, bites, cutting
But not always actions
Though actions speak loud
Words did deeper then any arrow
Especially when the mind speaks ill
And the body believes it’s lies
I know the method behind my madness
Yet I can not change the method
So the madness remains
Lying beneath the surface
Waiting for an excuse to emerge
An excuse to cry in pain
So that a stranger will
--for at least a little while--
Become a concerned friend

How strange that I who understands
Or pretends to understand
This complex and great machinery
Can do nothing to save myself
Form the madness, blood and pain
That drives it ever onward